February 19, 2008

International Ginger Kids Foundation

today i happened upon the most AMAZING website ever. The International Ginger Kids Foundation. The IGKF was founded in 2002 in the hopes of spreading equality and acceptance of red-headed bastards everywhere.


because Gingers are people too, dammit. even if they don't have souls.

me thinks this website has some kind of UK origin because those Brits are seriously un-accepting of redheads. i'm not really sure why but all the brainwashing is starting to make me nervous. i mean, my paternal grandmother is a Ginger! and my first cousin is too! it could have just as easily been me. oh the horror!

after reading up on the FAQ it has occurred to me how dire my situation really is. there is no way in hell i am ever having a Ginger baby. i refuse to procreate unless there is a black man involved. that's my only shot.

read for yourself

Frequently Asked Questions About Gingervitis
and Ginger Kids.

1) What is Gingervitis?

Gingervitis is a serious hereditary disease caused by a recessive gene. It can lay dormant for years and two perfectly healthy parents can have Ginger Babies. Gingervitis affects millions of people world wide. The symptoms of gingervitis include: Red hair, pale skin, and freckles, a "Soulless" feeling. Some Ginger Kids may show symptoms such as violence and depression. Although Gingervitis is not a life threatening disease it can be very serious. There is currently no known cure and very little treatment for Gingervitis.

2) Is Gingervitis contagious?

No, Ginger Kids are born with Gingervitis. It is hereditary and cannot be contracted in any other way.

3) Are Ginger Kids dangerous?

Although some Ginger Kids may be dangerous, many others are not. Ginger Kids do have a genetic predisposition towards anger and depression, but this is caused by there appearance and often times amplified by taunting and harassment. Contrary to popular belief, many Ginger Kids live healthy, happy lives.

4) Do Ginger Kids have Souls?

Unfortunately no, Ginger Kids are born without souls. A common misconception is that you need a soul to survive. This is completely false. Ginger Kids are people just like everyone else, even if they don’t have souls. Many Ginger Kids live happy, healthy, productive lives devoid of any sort of soul.

5) If a Ginger Kid bites me what should I do?

If you have been bitten by a Ginger Kid immediately wash the wound with soap and water. If you have alcohol or peroxide apply it to the wound. Then call your local poison control for further assistance.

6) Why do Ginger kids get such a bad reputation?

Ginger Kids are commonly stereotyped because a number of famous Ginger Kids have set bad examples. Celebrities such as Carrot Top and Queen Elizabeth I give Ginger Kids a bad name. Don't be fooled, although these famous people are Gingers. A large numbers of Ginger Kids are nothing like them. Some Gingers have even protested these figures because of the harm they have done.

7) Why do people call Ginger Kids "fire crotch"? Are there crotches really on fire?

A common misconception is that Ginger Kids' crotches are actually engulfed in flames. The truth is "fire crotch" comes from the fact that Ginger Kids have red pubic hair. It is similar to the nickname "Carrot Top".



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