August 10, 2008

life on the D list

on friday i got the most superb email ever from someone claiming to be Jesse Lewis from Vh1's America's Most Smartest Model.

Jesse is apparently a little disgruntled about a post i did ages ago calling him fat.

i'm not even going to do this email an injustice by paraphrasing so i'll just copy and paste verbatim:

Hey Blog Person,
I recently came across your blog which called me a "Fatty". I find it funny that you haven't taken the time to do an update on my "Fat Beautiful Ass" including my recent role in my debut film, "Meet The Spartans" as well as my second coming out this fall,"Black Dynamite".(HOLD THE APPLAUSE)! In addition, my brand new contract with Panasonic/Japan. (NOW WOULD BE AN EXCELLENT TIME TO APPLAUD) The rest of my fatty accomplishments you can IMDB! Just thought you and your fellow bloggers would like to know. Thanks Again,

first of all, why on earth would i waste my time checking back in on the status of his "fat beautiful ass"? this guy is more forgettable than the name of the band who sings "How Bizarre"

second, according to the IMDB post for Black Dynamite, Jesse's character is "Militant #3" hold the applause? no kidding.

third, what the FUCK was this dude thinking when he included the below photo in his email to me?

um, barf.

i think it should also be pointed out that this email came to me at 4:02 am. that means that Jesse was googling himself in the middle of the night when normal people would be looking up porn. and i'm pretty sure my little blog post didn't ping very high in the search results so it's safe to assume he was scouring the internet like a psycho.

either way you look at it, i have successfully pissed off a gay bitchy pseudo-celebrity. my blogging career has officially peaked.


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