August 13, 2008

fat girls out, trannys in

ooooo the new season of America's Next Top Model is almost upon us!

what's the hook this season, you say? Not one, not two, but THREE plus-sized girls perhaps? and by plus-sized we obviously mean a girl who starts off at a size 6, drops a couple pounds because anorexia is contagious and then gets the boot because she's a size 4 - which is of course, too small for plus-sized modeling and too big for "real" models.

BUT NO! none of that this cycle! for this time around, Tyra's bringing us an honest to blog TRANNY!

Meet Isis - a 22 year old transgendered something or other. i can't really tell what her boob situation looks like but the bottom line is that she has a penis.

i have a feeling that even though this is clearly good for ratings, at the end of the day, Isis will turn out to be such a convincing woman that all excitement will be lost.

we'll be busy watching cat fights break out over spending too much time in the shower or eating someone's doritos. or if we're lucky, we'll get another mousey nerd who cheats on her annoying boyfriend with some sexy europeans in a hot tub. that phone call when she admitted it to her boyfriend was amazing. i never knew boys could sound so shrill!

anyway, the first round of Top Model contestant photos are as lame as ever. the girls all look like they're plain janes, ugly or trying too hard. but that's what i've come to expect from these pre-season pics.

the only one who caught my attention was this girl:

Agyness Deyn is going to be pisssssed!


Pilobolus on Conan


August 12, 2008

when boredom strikes

this is never a good idea

DISCLAIMER: clicking the above video might make you a perv.


JoBro Fever

i tried to ignore these dudes as long as possible for two reasons:

1. they wear promise rings for god. religious people and virgins makes me uncomfortable.

2. my heart will always belong to Hanson.

but low and behold, i think they're kind of adorable and i can no longer resist. then i found these pictures from TRL yesterday and i almost died.

these poor girls just got their ONE opportunity to impress the Jonas Brothers and perhaps begin the courtship that would make those "Mrs. Jonas" sharpie tattoos a serendipitous foreshadowing but unfortunately these ladies were caught in that eerie thunderstorm that swept manhattan yesterday. and they look completely insane. somewhere the god are laughing.


August 11, 2008

girl crush

i will forever be obsessed with Rihanna. i want to be her. shit, i want to be ON her.

Kim: "sara, do you want to make out with me?"
Sara: "no, not particularly."
Kim: "do you want to make out with Rihanna?"
Sara: "hm. yes."


August 10, 2008

fly like paper, get high like planes

i always get a little nervous before seeing a film i've been anticipating for a long time. the hype around a movie automatically makes it suck a bit and if your expectations are high (pun intended) it's really really REALLY upsetting when the movie is just okay.

that being said, Pineapple Express was pretty much as awesome as you'd want it to be.

go see it.


life on the D list

on friday i got the most superb email ever from someone claiming to be Jesse Lewis from Vh1's America's Most Smartest Model.

Jesse is apparently a little disgruntled about a post i did ages ago calling him fat.

i'm not even going to do this email an injustice by paraphrasing so i'll just copy and paste verbatim:

Hey Blog Person,
I recently came across your blog which called me a "Fatty". I find it funny that you haven't taken the time to do an update on my "Fat Beautiful Ass" including my recent role in my debut film, "Meet The Spartans" as well as my second coming out this fall,"Black Dynamite".(HOLD THE APPLAUSE)! In addition, my brand new contract with Panasonic/Japan. (NOW WOULD BE AN EXCELLENT TIME TO APPLAUD) The rest of my fatty accomplishments you can IMDB! Just thought you and your fellow bloggers would like to know. Thanks Again,

first of all, why on earth would i waste my time checking back in on the status of his "fat beautiful ass"? this guy is more forgettable than the name of the band who sings "How Bizarre"

second, according to the IMDB post for Black Dynamite, Jesse's character is "Militant #3" hold the applause? no kidding.

third, what the FUCK was this dude thinking when he included the below photo in his email to me?

um, barf.

i think it should also be pointed out that this email came to me at 4:02 am. that means that Jesse was googling himself in the middle of the night when normal people would be looking up porn. and i'm pretty sure my little blog post didn't ping very high in the search results so it's safe to assume he was scouring the internet like a psycho.

either way you look at it, i have successfully pissed off a gay bitchy pseudo-celebrity. my blogging career has officially peaked.

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