December 27, 2007

Viral Video of the Year

who doesn't love a great viral video? this recent trend of youtube sensations has made for much entertainment throughout the work day and with the commencement of 2007 i think it's time to vote on the best of the year.

and the nominees!

The Landlord

Dramatic Chipmunk

Chocolate Rain

Breakdance Kid Drama

2 Girls 1 Cup

Otters Holding Hands

Inmate Thriller

please take a moment to cast your vote (on the top left of the page)!!


what is a douche?

let's have john mayer break it down:


Death to Douchebag
1 of a 129-part series on the year that was 2007,
By John Mayer

“What a douchebag.”

It feels good to say, “douchebag.” It’s got two different plosive sounds, the “D” and “B”, and nicely wedged between is a wonderful “sh” sound (technically known as a voiceless palato-alveolar sibilant, at the risk of coming off douchey) that, when preceded with “oooooh”, give your lips the sensation of sliding on a hardwood floor in a pair of woolen socks.

And “douchebag” was on the vinegary tips of everyone’s tongues this year. Trouble is, I’m not really clear on what it means, and I don’t know that anyone does. I know that I get called one. Pete Wentz from Fallout Boy, by measure of a google search, is a douchebag 11,100 times over, or the number of results that the search engine says exist. Zach Braff, who himself wrote one of the better films I’ve seen in the last decade is also frequently ‘bagged, as is some guy named Brody Jenner. In fact, if you want to go big, so is Michael Stipe, Bono (”supreme douchebag”), Thom Yorke, Will Smith and Brad Pitt.

Are you as confused as I am as to what the common denominator of douchiness is? Is it someone that comes off obnoxious? Self aggrandizing? Ignorant? Or is it just someone who exists out of another person’s comfort zone? And doesn’t that account for almost everyone in the world, celebrity or otherwise? Don’t most people, given the fact that they’re NOT US lie somewhere outside our comfort zone? Ohhhhh…OR…is being a douchebag actually all about having a bigger smile than someone else deems you deserve to in life? I think I’m onto something here. Stick with me.

In the case of Pete Wentz, whom I can comment on personally, I think the guy’s got the job description of musician down pretty damn well. True, it’s not your dad’s rock star template, but he’d be inauthentic if he tried to fit inside it. Pete Wentz has a truckload of ideas. Big, bold, colorful ideas. They’re ideas that have never once had their edges sanded down, and for that reason some people might find him or his band too much to swallow. You know who else had that going for them in their day? Frank Zappa. And David Bowie. And Peter Gabriel. And Elton John. And the Doors. Pretty much every rock band from A-Z existed because of their ignoring conventional boundaries. Pete’s going to keep pretending. Because that’s all art really is. You puff up your sense of pretend as big as you can and then try and live up to it. (Maybe that’s what people think being a douchebag is?)

I personally don’t mind being called a douchebag. I’ve met my fair share of bloggers, and I’m much, much taller than them. It’s also because I need there to be some push on the castle walls, so to speak. I’m not happy when people agree. (Don’t make me start listing the names of seminal artists that weren’t either.) I think it’s easier to call “douchebag” than to confront the possibility that:


Maybe I should take this opportunity to define douchebag once and for all; I think if enjoying your life as you choose happens to spill over into treating others without respect, then you’re a total, world-class douchebag.

But then wouldn’t that also serve as a fitting description of the boy who cried “douche”?

Maybe it’s just really fun to say.

i totally love that john mayer blogs and i kind of love everything he has to say about douchebaggery. everything except being a pete wentz advocate. barf.


December 25, 2007

Year in review

thanks to Jib Jab for always making entertaining videos.


December 23, 2007

out of office

today i am embarking on the 7 hour train ride to the Burgh of Pitts where i shall be spending the holidays with Benjamin's family.

i will return with a vengeance in 2008.

viva pittsburgh!

happy holidays


December 20, 2007

Zoey is a slut

i know you've all be at the edge of your seats hoping and wishing and praying that Nickelodeon would soon make a statement regarding their show ZOEY 101, staring Jamie Lynn Spears.

WELL $Ries clued me in on this article from the AP (Associated Press, dummies) and though there's no news regarding Zoey 101, the network has stated that they are considering turning this travesty into a "special" about sex and love. gag me. as if that isn't bad enough, they are calling in old Nick News journalist Linda Ellerbee.

The one thing i distinctly remember of Linda Ellerbee on Nickelodeon was the SNOOOOOZE FEST. and the power lesbian haircut. apparently this bitch has been married 3 times too. then she gave up penis in the 70s. practically a century before JL Spears was even born.

anyhow, in related "news" it seems that Ashlee Simpson is bitching and moaning about how JL Spears stole the spotlight from her yesterday when Ashlee released her new video for the painfully infectious song "Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya)".

a. the video pretty much blows
b. Spears women will out do Simpson women any day of the week. that crazy Jessica was an honest to god virgin on her wedding day. fucking weirdo.


December 19, 2007

do not

i repeat, DO NOT fuck with a tall black man. he will beat yo ass. and rightfully so.


my new favorite canine

panda dog!


December 18, 2007

babies having babies!!

okay maybe lily allen isn't that young but she's younger than me and i wouldn't dream of getting knocked up!

so yeah, 22-year old lily allen and SIXTEEN YEAR OLD jamie lynn spears are expecting. not together though. lily's man is one of the old guys from The Chemical Brothers and jamie lynn's live-in boyfriend is some 19 year old douche.

so proud of that jamie lynn!! it always annoyed the shit out me that her namesake is a combo of her mother and father's names: Jamie Spears (dad) and Lynn Spears (mama dukes). seriously? how narcissistic. but she went and showed them a thing or two. she's all "britney britney britney. nobody cares about jamie lynn...i'll show those fuckers"

yes you did, jamie lynn. yes. you. did.

i don't think this guy above is JLS's actual baby daddy but he looks like a douche regardless so it works for me.


December 16, 2007


deja vu, much? i seem to remember this exact same clip some months back but it was carrie underwood perched up there and not bimbo simpson.

carrie also had sweet box seats. poor jessica is just chilling here with the mortals. then again, 2007 didn't do much for her. she's practically D-listed.

dear jessica,

borrow your sister's plastic surgeon and give us something grand in 2008.




Harnishpalooza 2007

wow the holiday party season is taking its toll on me but i'd have to say, this year's Harnishpalooza turned out pretty well. we had a good little crowd of people show and bill and frank in particular were extra festive this year.



December 15, 2007

Deep Focus Holiday Party

Party at The Park

the (smelly) after party we stumbled into. location unknown

well, i've successfully survived two consecutive Deep Focus holiday parties. let's see what's in store for next year.


brit brit's new song

is complete caca


December 14, 2007


everyone is in an uproar today over the "findings" surrounding the MLB and steroid use. all i have to say is, are there really any people who find this all that surprising? are you also the people who believe OJ is innocent and the Duke lacrosse team didn't have their way with a slutty girl or two?

come on people!!


whopper freakout

fucking hilarious. you may have seen this on the news or even seen the tv spot for it but if you haven't, this is a marketing campaign that burger king brilliantly came up with to prove the whopper reigns supreme. this video had me caught in a fit of giggles but i also have a small brain so just see for yourself.

now i want me a whopper. fantastic viral marketing right there.


December 13, 2007

Xmas party?

Marc Jacobs held an Arabian Nights themed christmas party last night. Amanda Lepore went as herself.

Marc went as a camel toe.

somebody better alert CoCo T that she has some competition...


December 9, 2007

not aging well

poor Knut the German polar bear. once cuter than a basset hound puppy pulling a toddler in a red wagon, Knut is now old, washed up, and quite frankly, a little dirty looking.

Best Week Ever put together some rather hilarious images of our once cute little Knut celebrating his coming of age.

Happy 1st Birthday, Knut! may the upcoming year bring you a fantastic celebrity cosmetic surgeon.


America's Most Lamest Model

In anticipation of tonight's final America's Most Smartest Model showdown, i'd like to express my disappointment in the top three contestants.

Angela the know-it-all

Andre the Soviet


let me just say that these people absolutely SUCK. they're not likeable in the slightest bit and if Tyra has taught me anything, they are definitely not "model" enough.

for the most part, this entire season has been filled with a bunch of model retards.

rachel myers?

this bitch looks about 35 and is in desperate need of a sandwich.

slavco tuskaloski?

greasy creepazoid

jesse lewis?


this show is an absolute joke that i can't peel my eyes from. it pisses me off that i kill brain cells on this shit each and every sunday night.

on another note, they're holding a casting call for season two of America's Most Smartest Model. i'm pretty sure i have a shot.

RIP to my AMSM faves - you are the best. we miss you.


Aussie Rachel

Brett (call me!)


December 7, 2007

A place for friends

last night was the Fox Interactive Holiday Party.

highlights from this party include

- being denied entry by a mondo-bitch behemoth of a woman
- waving and popping the finger at mondo-bitch behemoth woman when she saw us walking around the party later on
- successfully pissing off celebrity DJ (and ex-lover of Lindsay Lohan) Samantha Ronson by harassing the shit out of her and requesting "Toxic"
- taking warm shots of vodka from a warm ice luge
- cutting a rug to THE CORY dance known to most of America as The Twist

this is cristin trying to get Samantha Ronson to go to an after party with us. Sam's excuse? "i'm going to go visit my friend's new baby". almost random enough to be true but most likely not considering babies normally aren't still up partying at midnight.

peace out, sam ronson. peace out...

Thanks Fox Interactive!
Rotten Tomatoes

and a big old FUCK YOU to the bitchy publicist MANing the guest list at the front door.

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