May 18, 2007

sexy beasts

if this doesn't turn you on...

i don't even know what to say here...



John Mayer and Jessica Simpson have called it quits.

HIGHLIGHT. OF MY. DAY. and to put that into perspective, i'm having a really great friday but this news takes the cake.

he's too witty/intelligent/respectable for her. especially considering she's been demoted to the "ugly sister".

somebody give her plastic surgeon a medal. seriously.

not to mention Jessica's been snubbed by Jude Law - of all people - who was quoted as saying "What's she doing here?" in regards to her appearance at Cannes. ouch. jude law? really? that guy's about as cool as Dustin Diamond. jude, didn't you get the memo that jessica is a serious actress now? surely you've seen the trailer for her upcoming blockbuster, Blond Ambition.

i smell Oscar gold.

so in closing:
my deepest sympathies, dear jessica. you can go into hiding now that your life is going to crumple once again. and when you find yourself aching for another publicity stunt, i must ask that you PLEASE re-emerge sans brown hair and cheap spray tan.


John, call me.


May 16, 2007

latawnya the naughty horse

this is an actual book. and it's pretty awesome. if you click the link you can read the entire thing and pass whatever judgments you like about the author.

or if you're lazy like me, you can just feast your eyes on a few key pages:

the horses are also of african-american decent. actually, i don't know that for a fact but i think it's a safe assumption.

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