April 10, 2008

Bjork is insane

it's no secret that Bjork is bat-shit crazy but here's Bjork putting insanity to a good use.

check out a sweet HD version here. it takes a little while to load but it's worth it. if it doesn't already freak you out, there is also a 3D version available!

if only i listened to Ben when he wanted to save our glasses from Beowulf in 3D. curses!


douchey eyeliner alert

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz engaged!! BARF.

quote from Ashlee
"We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best. Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes - it means the world to us. We consider this to be a very private matter, but we wanted you to hear it straight from us."

i give it 1 year and 4 months. i'm being generous.


April 9, 2008

A fine line between joking and Chuck Norris.

Two teenage boys from Pennsauken High School in New Jersey were arrested after a teacher found a hit list the boys made.

The list contained 3 students, a staff member and CHUCK NORRIS. The boys claim it was a joke but apparently they're in some shit.

I mean, even if the authorities let them go it frightens me to think of the consequences they'll face once Chuck Norris gets wind of this.


* When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

* There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

* Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

* Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

* Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

* Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

* There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

* When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

* Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

* Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

* Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

* Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

* Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

* Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

* Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

* Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

last but not least: best. fact. ever.
* Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

yeah i would think twice about putting this man on your hit list.


April 8, 2008

Bronson Pinchot Sex Tape!?!?!?

Oh Balky, say it ain't so...

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

if you get the joke, you rule. or you spend too much time on the interwebs.


reason number 3,000,001 why babies suck

who is this goofy man? who knows.

who is this fat chick? well that - my friends - would be a pregnant Lisa Marie Presley and another reason i think it would never be wise of me to procreate.

those keeping track will remember that reason number 1 - aside from the obvious and hellish responsibilities of actually raising a child - is that there is a lot of red-hair running rampant in my family. having a Ginger of my own is just out of the question.

but seriously, if i know my body, i'm pretty sure a pregnant Sara would make Lisa Marie look like runway model. i like sodium and carbs and a good excuse to stuff my face. pregnancy will not look good on me. and i don't even want to think of the drooping aftermath of it all.


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